Emmett And Jaspers Toilet Queries
by Twilightfan1296
Summary: What are those little blue bricks for?...
1. Chapter 1

Emmett and Jaspers toilet queries

Jaspers walks into the boys bathroom and sees Emmett staring at a urinal, deep in thought.

Emmett: "Hey! Jasper, you know those little blue bricks in the urinals?"

Jasper: "Uh, yeah…?"

Emmett: "What do you think would happen if you ate one?"

Jasper: "Oh! I've thought of that before… do you want to try?"

Emmett: "I'll eat half for fifty bucks!"

Jasper: "Well, it shouldn't kill. You maybe you should."

Emmett: "What are they even for?"

Jasper thinks for a minute, looking like he's solving a complicated math problem.

Jasper: "Maybe they_ are_ snacks in disguise …


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Carlisle POV

Emmett and Jasper came into my study coughing and spluttering everywhere.

"Oh God, what have you lot done now!!" I shouted when Emmett was knelt over the wastepaper basket, throwing up… nice. Wait, vampires couldn't throw up. Jasper was lying on the floor and then clung onto my desk to pull himself up onto his knees.

"We dared…. each….. Other to eat…," He gasped between breaths. "…They little… blue…blue…".

"BRICKS!!!" Emmett screamed from his bin. "We thought it would be a good idea." He lifted his head from the basket to give me puppy dog eyes before turning back around to "throw up" again. What the hell had I done wrong with these two? Edward seemed to be fine… ooh my little Eddy-poo! Prefect in everyway!

"Come on! This moment deserves a Mary Poppin's song!!" I shouted jumping up and grapping my magic umbrella and jumping through the window singing "Just a spoon full of sugar… uh… makes you not sick!!!" just as Alice walked into the room.

Alice POV

Okay! Why the heck did Carlisle just jump though a window?! Seriously! OHH! SHOE SALE!!! Coming up next year! …damn it! Anyway, Jasper was clinging onto Carlisle's desk gasping for air even though he didn't need it, Carlisle had just jumped through the window with his 'magic' umbrella and Emmett was throwing up in a bin. Just a normal day at Fork's cheeriest vampire home! Oh! And Esme wasn't going to be happy about _another_ broken window. Maybe this animal blood wasn't so good for us after all… So I walked up to jasper and nudged him with my foot as he was lying on the floor again. When I got no answer, I shrugged my shoulders and walked over to Emmett.

"Emmett, why is jasper dead?" I asked delicately.

"Uhh… 'cause" he answered.

"You do know your not supposed to eat them, right?"

"Uhh…"

"Didn't think so." I said them walked out the room.

**A/n: sorry it took so long to update. I had no idea what to write next :P. But I will be updating again and I will try to make it soonish. ****J**


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: Anything I say in this chapter about certain celebrities is not my opinion! I LOVE YOU JACKSON!

**Jaspers Funeral**

**Edward Pov**

**Walking slowly down the aisle, I looked around me. Everyone was watching as Carlisle, Emmett, Charlie and I as we carried the coffin on our shoulders. I could hear people sobbing around us and others comforting them, holding back their own tears.**

**Rosalie Pov**

**I cant believe it. Its so horrible. Why! Why did it have to be Jasper?! Why couldn't have been Emmett or Edward?? Yes, it should have been Edward! No one likes him anways. Bella's in it for the money and Carlisle's just an idiot seriously, who jumps out a window?? Puurfft! I could feel Edward burning holes in the back of my head with his eyes so without warning I skipped to a very graphic image of me and Emmett in a position that even I found revolting.**

**Jasper Pov**

**Oh my god! This is so fun!! I should so die more often. Oh! Oh! I know what I'm going to do today! I'm going to haunt Jackson Rathbone! Man, that guys a freak. I mean how can people think he's even good looking? And people say he looks like ME?? You know what? I'm just totally jealous. Who am I kidding?? I love you, Jackson Rathbone!! Marry me! Maybe when I go to haunt him I will maybe just have a little tiny peak when he goes for a shower…**

**Ezme Pov**

**Yes! One down, five to go!! Then I'm free!! Free, I tell you! Free!**

**Carlisle Pov**

**Oh god. What did I take last night? I feel like my head is going to explode. I really must lay of the human food. And cocaine that's not too good for me either, and every other drug every made, they also cant be good for me. …Just a spoonful of sugar… Wow, I'm amazing! I should so ditch my job and become a songwriter.**

**No ones Pov**

**Jaspers coffin was at let end of the aisle by now and the minister was speaking slowly then there was a rumble, a bit like a muffled laugh, then…**

"**BLAAAAAAEEHH!!!! I shall eat you all!!" Screamed Jasper, jumping out of the coffin and whacking a bewildered Charlie with a chunk of wood, all the while Jasper was walking about acting like some sort of zombie slash dinosaur. At least that's what I think he was doing. Seriously what the heck is wrong with this family…?**


End file.
